Interesting

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask f I can take this train to KualaLumpur.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.

***

Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

***

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time.

***

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

***

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second Guy : "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

***

The girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a ring?"
Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"

***

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order.order"
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."

***

'For twenty years my husband and I were very happy'
'What happened then?'
'We met.'

***

Customer : 'If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Brighton in two days'time?'
Post Master : 'Well it might do.'
Customer : I bet you, it won't.
Post Master : Why not?
Customer : It's addressed to London.

***

Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

***

Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.

***

Waiter : I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer : Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

***

Friend 1 : Where did you born ?
Friend 2 : India.
Friend 1 : India? Which part?
Friend 2 : No, the whole body.

***

A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said
'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"

Then the teacher asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?"
and my friend's son raised his hand and said "I know! I know!, he said...'Holy smokes! A talking pig!"

The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

***

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked
"Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."

***

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."

***

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said,
"Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

***